I'm a simple person.

Give me love and I'll multiply it back.

Actually I have no reasons to be upset. Yet I spent the last 2 hours crying my eyes swollen.

But its ok. Eyeliner does its magic.

=)

Sometimes I feel I'm a horrible person. Why put in real feelings when in the first place, already know it's not gonna be true?

Ok that doesn't explain why I am a horrible person. Haa.

:x 秘密.

I'm a very soft hearted person. Really... must learn to be more hard hearted in future. I used to be able to do it. Why not now?

.=.

(I wrote a chunk about Dy. But.. I think i should not be writing about him. Just 1 sentence to sum this section up --> He is not the Dy I know and love anymore. My dy is dead.)

I think I look nicer with pony tails. But hair too long cannot keep tieing else my scalp will suffer. Cause too heavy!

Yesterday went drinking! Nice session!

.=.

12 days and counting.

.=.

It's time to busy busy busy~~

Take care!

Last Note: Irritating thing today. I thought it was Friday. SOBZ!

>.<

Purely. Just... upset.

Sometimes I wonder... Why people don't cherish the right ones... and kept on falling for the wrong ones. It's so funny.

Each RS teaches us something. Perhaps it might be learning to care more... learning to be more tactful... learning to cherish more.

Have u learnt?

I did. The hard way. Sometimes thinking back some rs of mine.. it's like wah... dramatic sia.

I lost the love of my 26 years of life and still counting.

I lost the one that was my shelter for the past 3 years and I was prepared to live with him for the rest of my life.

I fell for one that made me suffer for 7 years.

I fell for one that I know there wont be any ending for us. I still would love to dote and pamper him much. But That is all I can do. I can only satisfy the wants. And not the needs. No matter how much things I get him... How much I care... it will never be.

I fell for one that made me thought I will always be protected.

and.. I fell for one... that made me feel i'm just a fling.

.=.

He will only meet me out for drinks. Although... he did say we will go for movies soon... I'm still waiting. He did say we will go flyer together. The tickets are going to expire soon.

Although all he said did not come true. But when he says those... I am really happy. Like can be happy for days. And I tell people.. I think he changed a bit liao. But friends all tell me to let go. They say he is no good for me. I'll only suffer in the end.

I replied.. 'I know.... i know... .'

I was really really upset with him. I dont even feel like msging him. But I just cant help it? And I got to know he was sick. My heart soften again.

I know.. 1 day I will leave. When I'm being hurt till really really very hurt. I will leave.

He once told me... whenever he sees me.. he feels relaxed.

But he doesnt know......

whenever i see him... whatever I am unhappy with about him.. I start to be happy again.

when he slps... I feel as if I can stare at him forever...

whenever he feels unwell... I just want to make him as comfy as possible.

whenever he feels stressed... I always wished I can 'beat' it out of him. I hate to see him frown.

He tells me crayon shinchan is a stupid show. But I continue to play it to watch while I was eating. And I see him staring at the show that even when i talk to him his eyes never left the TV. I smile inside me...

He's the 2nd person I treated this way.

My dear sweeties.. u tell me.. how to just leave like that?

This is so horrible. So fucking horrible.

Always been the case.

Perhaps.... Lost confidence in 'Love'.

I also doubt everything I hear now. Just can't give 100% trust. Unless I really see it in actions...

Hmm...

Taa~~

Having headache now....

Happy vibes are slowly decreasing... Till... 6pm before re-charged again.

Having MJ later. Continous 3 days play mj le (including today).

I love the new rule! It's like 1dbl you have to self draw. Cannot game others. So it kinda make it so that people cant break the others cards by playing fast (1dbl game).

I have 4 more mins before having to turn back to work. =(

Think the next task will take me at least 2 hrs... then after that another task about half hr.. i'll left with.... 1.5hrs to clear shit.

Which i might be able to complete at least 1 outlet issues.. that will mean... i left 19 more outlets to go. LOL.

Tmr have to clear everything. Just TELL MYSELF... MUG for just 1 damn day and that's it! YEAH!!!

.=.

3.22pm

I didn't realise I was blogging halfway.

Was working feverishly. Haa..

Back to work! Ciao!

That will make me sleepy fug tmr. >.<

And Mr T is not gonna be there! I thought like catch up abit ma. Haha. Although we apps everyday. Him always bullying me. :/ hate u!

And he actually ask me to apps him if I'm winning so that he can come over after his soccer and 'help' me splurge. Knn. I hate u!

His ultimate goal is to clear my chips i think and THAT is horrible of him.

I clear you! Hmph! U wait!

.=.

Taking bus to friend's place now for mj. Im a good girl. Good girl dont take cabs. :D

.=.

I'm glad I have good friends ard me that loves/cares for me alot! I know you sweethearts have my best interest everytime!

I keep 're-starting' a new blog. Will slowly add back all the posts that I WANT to see. Lol. The rest can just forget it. It shall always remain a history and memories that I wouldn't wanna remember.

Bear with me for awhile as it takes time to revamp totally. I've been using red background for years and years and yeah.. years. Shall design a new piece! (If I have the time. :x)

I was still telling my friend, Elise, just now that

"I still feel the FRESHNESS of 2012!!!" :D It's a very cheery feeling! And I'm liking it.

.=.

Today Elise was chatting with me about 'Getting Married'. Will there be anyone that REALLY do not want to get married AT ALL? I don't think so.

So question:

Will you get married just because you feel that...

1) Both of you are in love?

2) You can forsee yourself living peacefully with that person?

3) That person can provide for you well and takes care of you really well? But perhaps, he is not the person that gave you 'butterflies'?

Which is you?

I always hope to be No.1. Who doesn't? But life is funny really. The one you love, perhaps... most of the time... is not the one you are going to spend your life with in the end and you end up spending your life with perhaps No.3. Cause I feel that No.2 is not a good enough reason to 'settle down' with a person.

I always feel that... to be in love... to have a crush on your own bf/gf is a very..... -whatever- thing. Of course, it had to be vice versa. Else, it is gonna be quite sad. Haa...

Once.. I fell in love. Each time I saw that person walking towards me... My heart skipped a beat. When he holds my hand and walk along the streets... my facial expression might still be 'still' but within me... i'm fireworks.

'Honeymoon period?' Nope. Surprisingly.... It wasn't. Even now.. if I see him on the streets... I'll stop in my tracks and my mind go blank. Haa.. Silly isn't it?

I yearn for love. Yet... I'm always on the track of preventing myself from falling for someone.

Philophobic. :)